My performance

Hand with a knife,
I'm within temptation.
Hand goes to my heart,
Why the fuck I'm still alive!?

Since I was eight,
I try to kill myself.
I'm going crazy from the pain,
The sadness, fear and hate.

I never said I felt the pain,
I was always acting to another and to myself.
I never felt the happiness what I've showed my whole life,
Mayby I gonna take the train.

Friends in real life I haven't anymore,
They are already gone.
Today or tomorrow I'm going to my friends,
Mayby than you realize what you've done.

If you are a real friend,
You've tried to stop me.
But you didn't,
You aren't a real friend.
You never wanted to stop me,
You never understood the alarm.
If you were a real friend,
You should feel the pain of my selfharm.

I've wrecked my soul,
I've lied my whole life,
To every one I know.
My happiness, my smile,
It was one big show.