Jean Pierre Calloc’h [1]

Corrections on Mike Painter's translation of Jean Pierre Calloc’h's
"Me 'voe ganet e kreiz ar mor" into Cornish.

N.B. > I don't have the orignal in Breton, so the poem's title is a guess !!

My veu genys yn kres an mor
teyr lig yn mes.
Unn dyji gwijnn ena a’m beus.
An bana'l a dyv a-dal y borth,
ha’n annedhow oll gans eythyn kudhys,
yn bro an Arvor.

Ow thas vy ‘vel y dasow esa marner,
a vywas ev ha kudhys ha diskler.
Den trogh, ny gan nagonan y gawsow
par dydh par nos war’n mor medhel.
Ow thas vy ‘vel y dasow
a ystennas roesow.

Ow mamm ynwedh a oberas
ha wijnn hi blew.
Gensi, wijs war agan talow,
dyskys ov vy, byghannik tra,
mysi ha tenna avelow [> avalow(-dor)]
dhe waynya bara.

Y knoukas Ankow orth an porth
dh’y dhones abervedh.
Agan prys da gyllys glan yw yn kylgh
a gorflann plyw dhe goska; [> plyw = pluw]
hag ynnov vy y kanas 'na an bardh.
Mernans a gnoukas orth an porth.

A dhydhyow ow flogholeth,
pan ith yn tigeudh
gans mamm an erewi dhe resek,
ha gans ow thas orth y byskessa ev,
ple’th esowgh hwi, ple’th esowgh hwi,
dydhyow ow flogholeth. Hweg esowgh hwi.

My veu genys yn kres an mor
teyr lig yn mes.
Unn dyji wijnn ena a’m beus.
An bana'l a dyv a-dal y borth,
ha’n annedhow oll gans eythyn kudhys
yn bro an Arvor.

-- Translated into Cornish by Mick Paynter --

[> . . .] denotes my [白狐] corrections
unnoted are corrections in grammar !!

I was born in the middle of the sea
[> Me 'voe ganet e kreiz ar mor]

I was [> yw/am > me 'zo] born in the middle of the sea,
out three leagues clear.
[> three leagues out]
I have a little cottage there,
[> one small white cottage there I have]
the broom do grow about its door,
[> the broom grow facing its door]
and the dwellings there all hidden by the moor,
[> and the dwellings all by gorse-bushes hidden]
in the land of the shore [Arvor = coastland].
[in the land of Arvor]
 
My father like his fathers was a mariner,
[second verse left untranslated !!]
[> who lived hidden as well as obscure]
Poor [> wretched] man, nobody sang his cause[s],
[> ny gan = not sings >> ny gana = not sang, not was singing]
by day nor [> by] night, upon the subtle [> soft] sea.
My father like his fathers
stretched out his nets. 
 
My mother worked as well
although her hair was grey
[> and white/grey her hair]
With her, the sweat upon our brow [> foreheads],
a little thing, I learnt
[> I was taught, a little thing,]
to pull and pick potatoes [> "apples"],
[> to reap/pick and pull potatoes]
and [> to] win our bread.
 
Death knocked [hard?] at our [> the] door
and came aboard. [> also: inside/in]
Our happy days gone, overturned,
to sleep within the graveyard of the town.
[> Our happy days completely gone is in the circle
of the parish graveyard to sleep]
While inside me the bard began to sing.
[> "and in me sang there the bard"]
Death knocked [hard?] on our [> the] door.
 
Oh, childhood days, my childhood days,
I went without a care,
with mother running in the field,
[> with mother running/roaming the fields/acres]
and with my father, fishing on the sea.
[> and with my father, fishing > "at his fishing he/his"]
Where are you now ? Where are you now ?
My childhood days. You were so fair [> sweet].
 
I was [> am] born in the middle of the sea,
out three leagues clear.
[> three leagues out]
I have a little cottage there,
[> one small white cottage there I have]
the broom do grow about its door,
[> the broom grow facing its door]
and the dwellings there all hidden by the moor,
[> and the dwellings all by gorse-bushes hidden]
in the land of the shore [Arvor = coastland].
[> in the land of Arvor]

Translated into English by Mick Paynter
https://secure.francisboutle.co.uk/pages.php?cID=9&pID=63