Question words

Why?
When did?
What did I?
Where did I say?
Who did I say no?

To, you my friend.
My best.
Someone who knew why I
physically ‘fall’ asleep,
who picked up the phone
when I called in the middle of the night,
who knew what I meant
when I chose to ignore
again.
Again, after so many years.
I shouldn’t have let you go.
Then.
Now.
He says,
Where do you go when you need
a cuddle, a whisper a stroke.
heart beats
heart beats
heartbeats

I’m listening, I swear.

Who did you turn to all those years
when one by one hurt and abused you.
Those brave and handsome soldiers
proven to be worthless in combat.
Will you fight me?
Will you lose?

I’ve already lost.
Blindfolded,
ignorant,
kept on searching for more,
running from all possible enemies.
Even though I’m probably my worst,
and yours.

Don’t tell me I’m beautiful.
Don’t look me in the eyes when I wake up.
Don’t ever wake me up.
Let me, let us, stay ignorant.
Protect me.
Keep on saving me as you did.
Throw a security blanket over our heads.
Cave me.
Close the door.
Now and again.
Why?
Did I say…

no